Misty books
  • Home
  • Dear Mum
    • Dear Mum Day One
    • Dear Mum Day Two
    • Dear Mum Day Three
    • Dear Mum Day Four
    • Dear Mum Day Five
  • Flash Fiction
    • Jimmy Ruffin Is Dead
    • Blood Money
    • Th'owd pol on th'cut
    • Just a couple of drops
  • Plays
    • Carbon Footprint
    • Going Home
  • Newsletters
    • Compilation newsletter
  • Blog
  • Contact
  • Children's Books
  • News & Reviews
    • Audio Files
    • What the papers say

Never give up your green belt for anyone...

26/9/2016

Comments

 
Picture

Methinks I doth protest too much.
But quite honestly it has to be done.
In the 37 years (is it really so long!?) since I moved to this little slice of heaven we have had to campaign against the Western Orbital Route, a quarry and an extension to our local airport.
Yes you can call me a NIMBY but I ain’t been on the losing side yet and if you’re so concerned you are quite welcome to put any of them in your backyard and see how you like it.

So bring on the next.
Yes it’s another quarry.

Except it’s not really.

Confused?
Let me explain.

Once upon a time someone wanted to build houses on a strip of land on the edge the village, between the canal and the brook.
But it was designated green belt.
Bugger!
So that’s the end of that then.
All’s well that ends well.
Happy villagers and happy grazing sheep.

Everything’s back to normal.
But! Hold on a mo!
Here comes a developer with a cunning plan.
‘We’ll build a marina instead.‘
Perhaps a bit more aesthetically pleasing, row upon row of canal barges instead of row upon row of little boxes made of ticky tacky.

Well that splits the vote.
Some think it’s a good idea.
Some don’t.
Each to their own.
A bit like Brexit in minature.
And then there’s the punchline. ‘Of course we could always turn it into a travellers site or a quarry.‘

Suddenly a marina looks very attractive indeed.
‘No of course we won’t remove anything from the site. The sand we don’t want will be piled up as a barrier to stop the canal and the brook getting too jiggy jiggy with each other.‘
Come to think of it, isn’t that how they made Wales? The ancient Brits got forced ever westward by various European invaders taking their land with them until they came to the coast and had to pile it up into mountains. Back to Brexit again.

Anyway, I digress.
O.k. then – a marina – we’re not entirely chuffed but we’ll go with that.
Job’s a good ‘un.
Not everyone’s happy, but hey, you can’t please all of the people…

And then – nothing!
Well, not quite.
The sheep are evicted for a start.
Whenever a deadline approaches where something has to be seen to be done there’s a sudden spurt of activity. A perimeter fence appears. Someone digs a trench and then refills it again. That sort of thing.

​And then…
…out of the blue…
…except it’s been in the planning stages for ages…
…’Let’s turn it into a quarry!‘
What!!!
But you said you wouldn’t remove anything…
‘We know, but we were only kidding. Besides it’ll make us some money ‘cos we can’t actually afford to build a marina.‘
What!!!
Oh, hang on though, you can’t – it’s green belt see, protected. So stick that up your…
‘No it’s not. That status was lost when you said you wanted a marina.‘
But we only said we wanted a marina because you said…
‘Tough titty!‘
Shafted or what?
So, we are now mobilising the troops again.

​Say No To The Quarry.

Look it up, it’s the name of our Facebook page.
And we certainly ought to fight that battle and win, so perhaps I ought to leave it there.

Except!

‘Oh, oh,‘ I can hear you mumbling, ‘he’s off again.‘

Yes I am, so bear with me.
There’s more sand in the pit at the local primary school than there is underneath that field.
Honestly, any self respecting quarry man wouldn’t even start his digger – it would cost too much in fuel. It’s on a flood plain for Gawd’s sake, they’d be pumping water out all day & all night!

So – you don’t think for one minute that after a few halfhearted scrapings in the ground they may give up and say,’hey, you know what – this isn’t green belt anymore, how about we build up the ground to the level of the canal and build some houses!?‘
Surely not.
Nobody could be that conniving surely, telling porkies to get their own way. See how the Brexit theme runs through this plot, or is that just the state of politics today?

Just a thought.

SAY NO TO THE QUARRY!





Picture
Comments

POWER TO THE PEOPLE'S BOOK PRIZE

12/9/2016

Comments

 
Have you got a mo?
It's just that I've got a bit of news.
Oh you know already?
How, if you don't mind me asking? After all I only just found out...

What?
You think that I'm going to tell you about the honeymoon!
Honestly, you lot!
All you every think of is sex.
Well it is, isn't it - be honest.
In fairness I have done a blog about that little adventure, but I thought that I'd tell you about this other news first.

Pardon?
No this is nothing to do with sex either.
Really! Get a grip!
And no, that's not a euphemism for anything.
Yes, I know I wrote a blog entitled 'Sexual Healing' the other week, but I'm not going to make a habit of it.

O.k? Are we clear now? Right then.
Back to business.

Thinking of previous blogs, do you remember that one I published a couple of weeks back, 'Should I Practice My Speech?'
What do you mean, 'you didn't bother.'
Why not?
No, I know that one wasn't about sex either.
Is that what it takes to get you interested, a bit of titillation?
Stop sniggering at the back, 'titillation' is a perfectly legitimate word.
Good grief!

Calm down for heavens sake! I only wanted to tell you about the book.
Yes, yes. 'That old chestnut again.'
Sorry if I'm boring you, but I'm genuinely excited about this and so is Misty.

Ah, yes - Misty. That got your attention didn't it!
I'm sure she puts you up to this 'I don't care' act half the time just to pee me off!
Anyway, back to DOGNAPPED! I told you that it had been entered in The People's Book Prize, didn't I.
Yes I did!
It's only gone and got through to the final!
How about that then!?

Sorry? You what?

No I'm not making it up.
Yes, I know I do make a lot of things up, I am an author after all. It's virtually part of the job description.

Yes, I know it's a kids book.
It's in the children's section of the competition.
Yes, really!

See. Changed your tune now haven't you.
Yes. I did write it all myself.
No - I don't care what Misty said, she didn't dictate it. Not all of it anyway.
Oh, see now, that's just sour grapes that is. I know the illustrations by Ian R Ward are fantastic, but to even suggest that they're the only reason that people bought...
​
Pardon?
You just looked at the pictures!
It's not a bloody comic for heavens...
O.k.
Yes.
I am, I am.
​
...7, 8, 9, 10.
I've calmed down now, thank you.
I just thought you'd be pleased for me.
For a change.
Just this once.
I was chuffed anyway.
Even Misty smiled.

Isn't she cute when she does that?


Picture
Comments

    Author

    Dave Robertson - with a little help from my canine friend!

    Archives

    September 2016
    August 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    March 2015

    Categories

    All

    RSS Feed

Proudly powered by Weebly