On the Thursday, I woke up. 'There's something wrong,' I said, floating upside down from the ceiling - drugs huh!
'Of course, silly,' they replied, 'you've just had a major operation.'
'Believe me I'd noticed,' my chest was still coming to terms with being cracked like a lobster, 'but there's definitely something wrong!'
'There, there, have some more morphine.'
Floaty, floaty, 'I don't feel right!'
'Oh stop moaning - honestly, there's always one...'
The solution when they found the partialy collapsed lung however was even worse.
'Take some deep breaths to re-inflate it!'
I ask you, did I look like I could breath? There was forty years of Benson and Hedges smoke damage in there. I could have re-surfaced the M5 on my own!
Seriously though, a massive public thank you at last to all involved and to our wonderful (to me - 'cos I'm not working in it!) N.H.S. Thanks to the nurse at Moss Grove Surgery, Kingswinford who called the ambulance when I wandered in complaining of two days of indigestion. Thanks to the numerous paramedics who ferried me about during the next few weeks. Thanks to the doctors and nurses of the cardiac wards of Russells Hall and New Cross hospitals. Thanks to the surgical team who refused to do the stent and to the team that performed the by-pass.
Thanks to my family, friends, work colleagues and neighbours - everybody needs good neighbours - sorry! Thanks especially to Kate who stuck by me through the trauma, only six months after we'd got together.
And then, just to celebrate the anniversary, I dropped an armchair onto my foot - don't ask! I think it's broken, well at least one of those little foot bones thingy's anyway. Am I off to get it X-rayed? I should cocoa! It can heal on it's own! If you think that I'm going anywhere near...
It's a shame, we were supposed to be doing an agility demonstration at the weekend. Misty won't be pleased. You wait until I tell her. I should stand well back from this blog page if I were you!