It's just that I've got a bit of news.
Oh you know already?
How, if you don't mind me asking? After all I only just found out...
You think that I'm going to tell you about the honeymoon!
Honestly, you lot!
All you every think of is sex.
Well it is, isn't it - be honest.
In fairness I have done a blog about that little adventure, but I thought that I'd tell you about this other news first.
No this is nothing to do with sex either.
Really! Get a grip!
And no, that's not a euphemism for anything.
Yes, I know I wrote a blog entitled 'Sexual Healing' the other week, but I'm not going to make a habit of it.
O.k? Are we clear now? Right then.
Back to business.
Thinking of previous blogs, do you remember that one I published a couple of weeks back, 'Should I Practice My Speech?'
What do you mean, 'you didn't bother.'
No, I know that one wasn't about sex either.
Is that what it takes to get you interested, a bit of titillation?
Stop sniggering at the back, 'titillation' is a perfectly legitimate word.
Calm down for heavens sake! I only wanted to tell you about the book.
Yes, yes. 'That old chestnut again.'
Sorry if I'm boring you, but I'm genuinely excited about this and so is Misty.
Ah, yes - Misty. That got your attention didn't it!
I'm sure she puts you up to this 'I don't care' act half the time just to pee me off!
Anyway, back to DOGNAPPED! I told you that it had been entered in The People's Book Prize, didn't I.
Yes I did!
It's only gone and got through to the final!
How about that then!?
Sorry? You what?
No I'm not making it up.
Yes, I know I do make a lot of things up, I am an author after all. It's virtually part of the job description.
Yes, I know it's a kids book.
It's in the children's section of the competition.
See. Changed your tune now haven't you.
Yes. I did write it all myself.
No - I don't care what Misty said, she didn't dictate it. Not all of it anyway.
Oh, see now, that's just sour grapes that is. I know the illustrations by Ian R Ward are fantastic, but to even suggest that they're the only reason that people bought...
You just looked at the pictures!
It's not a bloody comic for heavens...
I am, I am.
...7, 8, 9, 10.
I've calmed down now, thank you.
I just thought you'd be pleased for me.
For a change.
Just this once.
I was chuffed anyway.
Even Misty smiled.
Isn't she cute when she does that?