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SKANKY LEWDSTROM

23/8/2015

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Been to Skjolden today, that’s up the end of the longest fijityord in Norway (Do they have these things anywhere else?) Very nice, small but bijou if you know what I mean. No? Neither do I really, but it sounds good. Still, we walked about a bit, down the road about three kilometres – we’re all Europeans now, miles have been abolished - to a cafe (and thankfully a toilet!) Very nice waterfall cascading off the mountains - hence the need for the fully functioning facilities, what is it about the sound of running water?

Anyway, shortly after we'd arrived coaches full of sloshers (afraid you'll have to see a later blog for that one) started turning up, strangely enough from the same boat that we left earlier. Now o.k they'd been driven around a bit and seen some snow, but essentially they'd come to see the same bit of water that we'd stumbled upon by accident. And they'd probably paid about seventy quid each for the privilege!

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Anyway, enough of the gloating - fools and their money ehh! But we're back on the boat now (still trying to wind them up with that one - check earlier blogs if you don't get the joke and please try to keep up, I don't do this for fun you know. This is serious kick ass reporting!) What I wanted to tell you was that we've just passed this house by the side of the fjord. A very nice house I must say, with a barn and outbuildings. Down by the edge of the water, surrounded by quite a reasonable parcel of land. And if I'm not mistaken there was a very nice shed. As houses go you'd be proud to live there, believe me. Except...

There's not another house to be seen for bloody miles. Not one! There didn't even seem to be a road from what I could see. Going to make shopping a bit tricky that, surely. No popping down the co-op if you find out you've unexpectedly run out of ketchup.

Who the hell lives there? Even Bear Grylls would feel a bit isolated. Got to have a serious social phobia surely? I bet if you asked any Norwegian, they'd all know who you were talking about. 'Oh, that Skanky Lewdstrom. He don't like nobody, so we leave him alone, ja by golly. If we don't have doings with him he don't bother us!' And wasn't it one of this lot that buggered off to the centre of the Earth just to have a bit of peace and quiet – oh! Wasn’t it? Icelandic you say – well they’re all cold blooded too, same difference!

Strange race!

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    Dave Robertson - with a little help from my canine friend!

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