Blimey, you're a bit out of breath, it's not actually that important.
But seeing as you're here now you might as well know- I'm going to be interviewed.
No, not by the police - not this time anyway! And can I just say that that other thing was just rumour and innuendo. Nothing was ever proved!
No, this time it's on the world wide whatnot by a very nice lady called Pam Lecky. She's an author and quizzes like minded people about what makes them tick.
Ha! Yeah, you're right, good luck with that then!
No seriously, it's going to be a good gig - David Robertson, in the library, with a notebook and pen - like a grown up game of Cluedo.
Think I ought to dress up? No me neither, I not saying that I'm bad looking, but Mum used to feed me with a catapult!
What's that? Really!? Not a drop? You don't want me slurring my words! You misunderstand - it's going to be written down - it's not live or anything, so a little sip won't hurt surely?
Pam's Victorian Treasures apparently, Friday 20th November, stick that in Google and take a look at her blog page. Not that I'm precious, or Victorian. Oi, I heard that! No need - there weren't that many candles on my birthday cake!
Oh, right. See you then. You're off now I'm not going to be quite the celebrity you thought, eh?
Never mind, we'll call it a rehearsal for Jonathan Woss shall we? I'll have to go, the phone's ringing - that's probably him now.
You doubt it? Oh o.k., see you then.
By the way you've left that thing behind.
Pardon? It's what?