DAY ONE
My dearest Mama,
So sorry to hear about your current state of internment, but don’t worry I have a plan. Judging by the holes in the garden it seems that my new puppy, Misty, is a very good digger. We have started a tunnel so that we can get past the nurses station to visit you.
Look out of the window and you’ll see sprays of earth flying in all directions. That’s us!
Our plan is to come out under the bed opposite, so can you let Doris know as we don’t want to alarm her. Any sudden tilting of her knicker draw will only be the result of minor subsidence.
I’ll get word to Dad that we will require some supplies as listed below:
Also, with his new found baking skills I will suggest that Dad bakes a large cake with a file inside, so that you can attempt a break out from your side.
In order to keep your spirits up can I suggest that you and the rest of the patients in your ward sing a few verses of ‘Hi-Ho, Hi-Ho’ from Snow White. The ‘Dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig the whole night though’ verse may spur Misty on to greater efforts.
I have to go now, to remove some of the spoil. I plan to stuff it in my trousers and discretely dispose of it in the field over the road.
Keep well, will be in touch soon with further news.
Your ever loving son
David
p.s. Please dispose of this note in someone’s bedpan. We wouldn’t want the nurses to get wind of our little plan, would we?
My dearest Mama,
So sorry to hear about your current state of internment, but don’t worry I have a plan. Judging by the holes in the garden it seems that my new puppy, Misty, is a very good digger. We have started a tunnel so that we can get past the nurses station to visit you.
Look out of the window and you’ll see sprays of earth flying in all directions. That’s us!
Our plan is to come out under the bed opposite, so can you let Doris know as we don’t want to alarm her. Any sudden tilting of her knicker draw will only be the result of minor subsidence.
I’ll get word to Dad that we will require some supplies as listed below:
- 2 miner’s helmets complete with lights, 1 extra large and 1 small to suit pointy ears.
- A pick, a shovel and bucket.
- A skateboard, so that Misty can whiz backwards and forwards along the tunnel.
- 1 lemon cake (extra large) I’ll need to keep my energy levels up.
- 10 large bags of pork scratchings (for Misty)
- A canary (just in case!)
Also, with his new found baking skills I will suggest that Dad bakes a large cake with a file inside, so that you can attempt a break out from your side.
In order to keep your spirits up can I suggest that you and the rest of the patients in your ward sing a few verses of ‘Hi-Ho, Hi-Ho’ from Snow White. The ‘Dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, dig the whole night though’ verse may spur Misty on to greater efforts.
I have to go now, to remove some of the spoil. I plan to stuff it in my trousers and discretely dispose of it in the field over the road.
Keep well, will be in touch soon with further news.
Your ever loving son
David
p.s. Please dispose of this note in someone’s bedpan. We wouldn’t want the nurses to get wind of our little plan, would we?