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DAY THREE

Dear Mum,

                Just a quick note to update you of on progress so far.

                If you look out of the window, you might see us silhouetted at the top of Rowley Hill (however your view may be obscured by the small mountain of earth that we have excavated from the tunnel – I do hope no one notices). As you may have gathered, we have unfortunately taken a wrong turning. It turns out that Misty, although an extremely good digger, has a lousy sense of direction. We are now attempting to make our way back down and hope to be with you shortly.

                  With our course corrections made please tell Doris not to visit the toilet this evening, or she could be in for a rather nasty surprise.

                  I have been in touch with Dad again. We’ll need some pit props and an extra, extra large lemon cake. Supplies seem to be running low. Misty’s scratching stocks also need replenishing.

                  It seems that things are not going well in the kitchen. His attempted soufflé collapsed when he took it out of the oven, exposing the grappling hook and rope ladder which were supposed to be hidden inside. Apparently he’ll try again tomorrow.

                  Perhaps you and the rest of the girls in your ward could hum the theme tune to ‘The Great Escape’ as I feel we are getting close and the noise may guide us in the right direction. Please don’t whistle anymore as this only seems to encourage the damn canary.

                  I have to go now, as one of the wheels appears to have fallen off Misty’s skateboard and we shall have to make some running repairs.

                  Keep your chin up, will be in touch soon with further news.

All the best,
David.

p.s. Please fold this note into a paper dart and throw it out of the window, but don’t let the nurses see you.